Bean Loves You For A Thousand Years & A Thousand More

I'm going to admit I've been dying to write in my blog since I've written last, I've just chosen not to more out of stubbornness than anything else.

Yesterday was Father's Day and it's usually a day I just overlook.  But as I was scrolling through the book of faces  (Facebook) yesterday all I could see where girls with pictures of their father's or sons wishing their fathers Happy Father's Day.  And honestly toward the end of the day I was angry and extremely tired of seeing them.  I was over the fact that I no longer have a father to tell that to.  All I have left is the memories since I was 11 years old and after.

The memory of my dad taking me out on a motorcycle ride while my brother was probably at practice for whichever sport he was doing at the time.  So my dad took me on a good 30min ride with my small black helmet and me riding up front.  The rule always was, anytime you're on a motorcycle you have long pants on, close-toed shoes, long sleeves, and a helmet.  No exceptions.  Sitting on the front of his Harley with my small black half helmet. So I got the bugs in my face...thanks Dad haha.  And on the way back from our ride him slowing down to tell me Russ would be home when we got back and not to say anything because he was just going to take Russ around the neighborhood.

Jeez, I'm going to cry writing this....

Or the memory of me and Dad running an errand in his silver Nissan pick-up and Will Smith's "Just the Two of Us," came on and he told me that every time he hears that song he thinks of me and Russ.  But me and him rocking out in that little old truck to TNT or Black Betty.

My dad was a mechanic and just a handyman in general but worked on fixing cars and motorcycles mostly.  I remember by brother having a remote control car that something was wrong with and it wouldn't run out in the shop (where my Dad did all his mechanic work) one day.  So I went out there and sat on my Dad's lap and watched him.  It probably only needed the batteries changed in it honestly.  But for some reason when my Dad got it all put back together it wouldn't start.  So my did flip it back over and took off a piece from the bottom.  I remember having the piece in my hand and putting in on a certain way.  And then the car started working again.  It was probably just an adjustment for the batteries but I honestly thought I had fixed that little remote control car just by putting that piece on the right way and I was so proud of myself for "fixing" something since Dad was a mechanic.  I'm so glad he let me have that moment and sitting in his lap just made it that much better.

I think this is probably why I want to learn how to do things on my car so bad by myself or be able to do things around my apartment by myself also.  I might call a friend for help but have me do most of the work, just them tell me what I need to do.  It's my way of making my Dad proud of me and being independent.

One story we (my family) die laughing over is one night at dinner Dad said the word stupid.  The word stupid, no big deal right, but it's the way my Dad said it that made it so funny.  It was more like....steewpid.  I started laughing so hard and repeating it making fun of my dad and my brother started dying laughing also.  Dad was trying to be serious at dinner and got tired of us making fun of him really quick.  So he told us the next person who laughs was getting popped.  I honestly couldn't help myself.  Just thinking about how Dad said the word stupid made me giggle and sure enough I was the next person made a peep and unfortunately for my brother both of my Dad's hands reacted instead of just the one and we both got popped upside the back of the head.  

My dad would let me steer the lawn mower while he mowed on the riding mower.  I would sit up front.  He would come to some of my gymnastics meets.  He was an amazing dad.  I was Bean to him although I had many other nicknames, but mom said his most frequent for me was Bean.

I think the hardest memory for me is the night before my dad past away we had a conversation that my Mom said lasted a good two hours.  What in the world could we have talked about for 2 solid hours!  And unfortunately I ask this question all the time.  I don't remember a single word of our conversation the night before my Father past away and that honestly hurts me to no end.  Why would I forget that big and long of a conversation?  The next day I had gone to gymnastics practice. I don't remember if it was a Saturday or if it was just summer time and after gymnastics went to my friend Nikki and Megan's house until my mom could pick me up after finishing work.  When we got home there were tons of messages on the answering machine from the hospital telling us to come down that it was important but didn't want to sound too urgent because of course they didn't want us to panic.  I cried off and on after they told us the news.  For some reason I felt it was my job to be the strong one.  

I remember mom taking us to a grief counseling class for parents and kids and I honestly never wanted to be there.  I was angry all the time and didn't want to talk about my Dad's death.  And I still don't talk about it much.

This is something I have only scared with maybe 2 people in my life, one being my brother.

I remember our first vacation without my dad, I think it was later that summer, when all of our families actually got along.  My mom and I slept in the same room and I remember going to Diary Queen that night.  That night I had a dream that I was actually riding my horse (something I always dreamed of having one day was a horse of my own when I was a little girl) down my Aunt's long gravel drive way.  Not sure why it was at my Aunt's house.  And my Dad came riding up on his motorcycle.  I had the biggest smile on my face.  My dad stopped beside me on his Harley and I stoped on my horse and he looked at me and said, "Take care of the family for me."  Yes, this was my dad looking to me after he had passed away and I knew that he had in this dream asking me to take care of the family!  How in the world at 11 years old was I going to be able to do that?  I think I remember a big hug and kiss but there was no riding back off up the gravel driveway away from me as I watched knowing he had asked this of me.  The dream was just over.

So now as almost 18 years later approaches, June 21st, all I could think of on Father's Day was the memories I have of my Dad and the ones that I won't get.  That he had to miss my graduation from high school and college.  See me move out and away from the family.  Make my own path in life.  Meet the men that I have dated and having his approval of the ones that I wanted to date and for some of them unfortunately I did.  Having him someday walk me down the aisle whenever I get married or hold grandchildren in his arms.  Or that the man I marry one day will ask his permission to marry me.   And he can never tell me he's proud of me. 

Honestly, wondering if my dad is proud of me is something I long to hear just about everyday but it's something that I long to hear from him.  No matter how many people tell me he is I always wonder.

I sometimes wonder if my father was still around if my feeling wouldn't grow so quickly for any guy that I like.  It's one of the things I consider a flaw for me.  But one thing is for sure, I'm definitely not afraid of those feelings.  Just wish they wouldn't happen so quickly!

So yes, I was angry on Father's Day.  Because I love and miss you dad!

1 Project Down, Plenty More To Go

So I've been a little quiet on here lately and there is a reason but I don't really want to share that.  But I did tell you all that I would post what my shelf in the bathroom looks like when I got it finished.  Granted this could be a one day project but I turned it into a couple weeks.   We all go at our on pace right?
Plus there's more excited things to tell you about too that I figured I'd share too.  My posts might get less but just bare with me on that. 

Bathroom Shelf + CrossFit and Canvas
So when I decided I wanted to start some decorations for my apartment, after all I've been there for 2 years, I decided to start with a simple shelf in my bathroom that I had found on pinterest made from industrial piping.
Thank you Blue Cross Blue Shield for the gift card so I can save some money at Lowe's. With every project there will be set backs.
I had to order the pieces of piping from Lowe's called nipples because they were out.  So they put in the order and I called a week later because they said they would have them in a couple days, definitely before the 22nd.  Well the 22nd was getting closer and I hadn't gotten a phone call.  So I called to check on the order.  The warehouse had no plans of shipping that out of stock item anytime soon.  So, customer service issued me the refund for those two nipples over the phone and told me of another Lowe's in the area that had some in stock.  
After I finally got the piping, next was spray painting them black, which I almost decided against because I liked the color of the piping but it had white lettering on it so it needed to be covered (insert sad face).  It was nice sitting outside my apartment door spraying the piping.  It was almost relaxing. I always enjoyed having my door sitting open when it started to cook down minus the lady who would smoke downstairs.  But anyway.  Before I got to spray paint the piping I had to put all the pieces together (caps, nipples and flanges).   The blog I was using for instructions said to put two coats but I only did one.  I've got to be a rebel somehow. 

So last night my friend James came over to help me find the studs in the wall, which I'm not too great at yet.  My handiness is still a work in progress.  So James thought he had found the studs and turns out where the stud sounded like it was....it wasn't.  So I guess I need to get a stud finder.  Might make my life a little easier.

So we drilled the holes through the flanges.  Good thing I already had a big pack of dry wall screws! 
We put the board on top of the first brace to place the second and make sure it was level.  And then the drilling for the second brace started.  We got everything done in about 30min or less which is what I was expecting. 
I'm so glad I have handy friends!  Only thing that's bothering me now is the board isn't wide enough for the brackets but that can be fixed.

I'll have to put the pallet boards together for my next project, and figure out the best way to put the boards together for where it's going.  Time to start measuring the space for my patriotic wall!



Deload Week & Cut 2
This week was my deload week on my program.  And the way my program is set up it feels like it takes forever to get to week 5 after all the work done during the 4 weeks prior. 

The plus of a deload week is I'm not so rushed to try and get everything accomplished.  I still tend to move pretty quick through things because I like getting things done and that way I might have time to do a little extra core work or have time to stretch which I don't typically get to do after I workout because it's straight to the shower I go to get ready for work.
Another plus of a deload week is I know everything is considered a light day so that means I will be able to drop some weight for my cut. The goal is to cut down from a high 57kg (compete in the 58kg class) lifter to a 53kg lifter.  About a 15 pounds difference!

Carbs are scarce on light days which when I first did a light day I was worried about how cranky I would be not having carbs after lunch but as of right now I am surviving.  Unfortunately the disappointing news when I woke up to do my weigh-in this morning I hadn't dropped like I had hoped.  I only weigh-in twice a week, Monday and Thursday.  On Monday I was at 56kg and this morning I was at 55.8kg.  So I've still got a ways to go but I have plenty of time to get there and I don't want to cut my weight down too quickly because that could take away my strength.

I also realized toward the end of last month that I've been so worried about making it to the American Open, stressing myself out about making it this year.  It's only the beginning of June and even though the latest I can qualify is November I still have plenty of time.  I'm on month 6 of 12.  There's plenty of time to make the jumps I need to and if I don't then there's always next year.  I need to remember just to have fun with this process even though it can frustrate me at time when I know my training has provided me with the ability to hit new numbers but I just don't.  Like some days I've never lifted before in my life haha.  But I'm sure we've all had those bad lifting days.  So here's to just having fun with my meets for the next couple months, enjoying the process, and seeing where it goes!



All Kinds of Special
Last year I tried for a position during the summer called ESY (extended school year).  Some kids will go to school for an extra month for a couple hours a day.  Not even a half school day basically.  And I have been working with a special needs kid for the past month.  Which if you know me, you know how much I love working with that population of students.  Yes, some days can be more difficult than others but it never ceases to put a smile on my face. 
This year, I never actually received the application to apply like I did last year.  A friend forwarded it to me and I sent it in.  Luckily, we had someone come in and observe the kid that I work with so see if we could figure out why he had been acting out.  And we got to talking about ESY.  I told her that I had applied and had sent the application back to the person who I know needed it to go the most, and I never heard back from her.  The lady felt that it would be a good idea for me to work with him for the summer and sent out the email that I needed to be able to work with my student this summer during ESY.  I am so thankful for that!

And this past Sunday when I was in church there was a part of the bulletin that grabbed my attention.  The church was looking for volunteers to help work with special needs children to help integrate these kids in with normal Sunday school classes.  My first thought...aww love!  So the first thing I did when I got home was email the people to contact about helping out.  The information meeting isn't until the beginning of July but I'm glad that this was posted.  I've always thought about working in a kids Sunday school class and had thought about helping with the younger kids during Vacation Bible School but wasn't sure how I would be with them.  This is the perfect way to start I think!

~God Bless

"Training strength and endurance mentally, physically, and spiritually."

Sometimes I Wonder

We all question why things happen as we go throughout our lives.  And I can honestly say that I've done that several times.  Some of you know that I believe in God and my faith relies in him and that he will carry me through situations, good and the crappy struggles.  He got me through last summer off dog sitting and random days working at a juice bar.  He has provided me with a job that I love for the past 2 years and he has helped me through heart ache, finances, big life decisions, etc.
I honestly don't know where I would be without my faith in him.  For some, my faith in God may be too much and for others it might not be.  Back in April, I found out that I had to pay basically a full month's worth of rent for taxes.  The past several years, I've gotten money back and this year I was owing.  I was mad that I had to owe and stressed because I was basically going to be owing a whole months worth of rent and where I was going to get that money from.  As concerned as I was, racking my brain about how in the world I was going to come up with an extra $450, it happened.  I did pray about it, for my anxiety/stress to be released and for help to take care of the situation.  Don't get me wrong I was mad about it.  But I had enough extra dog sitting jobs that month that I didn't have to use anything our of my usual funds.  Granted it would have been nice to have that extra $450 cushion in my life.  He blessed me there.

Well, needless to say I'm having another one of those moments.  It always feels like things hit you when you don't really need to have them come around, at the worst possible time.  My front brakes have been making a grinding sound for the past week, and has steadily gotten worse.  The sound has been working my last nerve when I brake, as well as the rattling of my steering wheel and hood of the car and the concern that at some point my car won't stop and I'll run into the back of someone. And that won't help matters at all.  So I made a car appointment to get my breaks fixed.  I knew they would have to be replaced and that I'd have to pay for labor which is a pain in the ass, but it is how these guys make there money, just sucks more for me.  So the damages, around $400, but I took it down to $300 because I took out break fluid.  Which I'lll come back and add that on later down the road.  Yes, I should probably go ahead and take care of that now, but I can't really afford that right now.  I'm trying to do better at saving money and right now I need to keep that extra cash.

So sometimes I wonder how God can do so many amazing things in my life, like my job and the people I get to work with every day, then turn around and practically slap me in the face and be like o yeah here's a reality check that it's not always happy moments so here's big dilemma when things are going well.  Because that's when things seem to go wrong right haha
It just reminds me to be patient from my Aunt's book Wait and See that we can wait a long time for things to finally turn around for us.    Regardless, of how I feel about what he throws on my I pray for his guidance and His providing of relief for my stress.  There's just something about my faith in him that calms me just like that hug you get that can just calm you down.  Although, I wouldn't complain about one of those right now either.

So besides why I wonder why God throws these things at me, here are some things that he has provided for me...

Wonders of An Amazing Job
I have an amazing job as a substitute teacher on an Army base working with special education kids.  I have worked with them for 2 years now and love every minute of it.  Yes, I'm just a substitute teacher.  And you may be thinking how in the world can you live off just being a sub?  Well, I work every single school day!  There is always a teacher that is asking for leave, has a meeting, or training to go to.  I've been lucky enough to have been provided skills to work as a sub, sub aide (works with special education kids), office work, and filling in for the school nurse.
But when school is out...what then?  The schools on post have something called ESY (Extended School Year), and if you're lucky enough you get chosen to work it.  This year, I never received the application to apply but had a friend forward me the application and I turned it in late explaining why.  I am currently with a Special Education student for the remainder of the year (working with him for about a month) and he was observed yesterday so we could try and figure out why he was having so many aggressive outbursts.  We, the teachers, got started talking about ESY and how he was going to be there and how I had applied hoping to work with him for the summer.  How it would benefit him to have someone he knows and someone who knows his tendencies to work with him for the summer.  The person who came in to observe emailed the person who does all the hiring for ESY and told her it would be better for him, with all the changes he's had going on lately, if I stayed with him for the summer.  So I basically talked my way into ESY and I'm not complaining at all.  I'd only be there 3 days a week and only for about 3 hours a day.  It may not be much but I am thankful for every day that I get so spend with him and the work.

I also get to do the amazing job of a dog sitter.  Filling my I want a dog so bad need without actually having a dog.  I get the cuddles, the time at the dog park that helps me relax for a little while and I get to return the dog.    Almost like being a grandparent where you get to keep the grandkids for awhile but it's nice because you get to give the kids back lol.  I am truly lucky.

General
He has provided me with some amazing friends since I've moved here.  From friends I've met through coaching, to working out on post, to the friends I have made through work or even ones that I've lived with at one time.  I've got some amazing people in my life who are willing to help me when I ask for it.  Some of them are called to move away, but all you can do is keep in touch.

I've learned to be adventurous lately and I'm loving it.  I'm loving planning my trip for my birthday next year and glad that I have been provided the ability to do so.  
I am blessed to have an Aunt that sends me books to help grow my faith in God and also grow myself anytime she gets sample books from the company she works for, Proverbs 31.  

I blessed to live around the community of the military.  Four years ago never did I ever think that I would be here.  I have always had a great appreciation for the military even in high school when I had thought about joining several times, but always for the wrong reasons at the time so I never did.  But I remember driving home from Charlotte one day from a visit home, probably for some family event, and seeing the carrier plans flying overhead taking guys out to do a jump.  Tears honestly started falling for my face and how amazed I was at these men and women, how I was lucky to be able to see things like this (it gave me a greater appreciation for fly overs at professional games), and just awe struck by truly what these people do for me.

Birthday Trip
So I've been telling you about how I'm trying to decide about where I'm going to travel with my voucher that I received from United Airlines on my way back to home from my Colorado trip.  This was giving me the opportunity to travel more and giving you the list of possible places I was thinking about going to.
I was thinking about New Orleans, Grand Canyon, or Seattle.  I can't remember the 4th option.
I took New Orleans off the list because I want a real adventure with that amazing view of setting a plan and accomplishing a big goal from the trip.  I want to get out and be adventurous.  Although New Orleans had some adventures with the food and atmosphere it wasn't exactly what I quite looking for.  So NoLa was out.
I took Seattle off the list because although I had only been there for a day back in 2012 for a friends wedding, but we were staying in Aberdeen, I just wasn't sure I wanted to go there.
So my final answer was Grand Canyon and Havasu Falls Arizona.  Havasu Falls is a 10mi hike just to get there.  Going through the Havasupi Reservation and getting a permit to get into the reservation to finish the hike to the falls.  My ultimate goal was to be able to paddle the river that runs through the Grand Canyon but after hearing that it's basically me hiking 10 miles with a paddle board and then another trek just to get the paddle board to the river to paddle it seems a little impossible unless someone was going to meet me there was a paddle board.  But that wasn't going to change my plans to hike to the falls and see the Canyon.

But my final decision for using my voucher is going to be Arizona and my big adventure of the hike to Havasu Falls and going to see the Grand Canyon.

~God Bless

"Training strength and endurance mentally, physically, and spiritually."

Summer Projects + Secret of My Past

My mind has honestly been all over the place all week.  I think it's mostly from just trying to get things marked off my to do list, stressed about summer, and other things that have been on my mind.  To the point where I had planned on getting some cooking done after getting home from school and I still have yet to do some of it.  I've been enjoying reading lately.  I've always loved to read since I was little even though reading was hard for me when I was younger.  I'm still a slow reader but I enjoy it.

Last week I was with a student in their history class and they had started on a unit about Hilter and the Holocaust.  The Holocaust has always been my favorite thing to learn about it history, even though it was a very gruesome time in our history.  So being in that class inspired me to read a book that I had started last year, that I had gotten from the book far, called Courage and Defiance: Tales of Spies, Sabetours, and Survivors in WWII.  It was about 5 sabetours/spied in Poland when the German Army invaded in 1940.  How to operated alone and in groups, produced underground newspapers, destroyed German factories that helped with their war efforts based in Poland after the invasion, and how they survived the concentration camps after being captured.  It was a really good book, and it helped that the chapters were short.  Those kinds of chapters just make you want to keep reading.  I'm looking forward to ready Killing Kennedy, another book I had started last year but didn't finish.  And what I had read of it.

Also, last week when I was with a student they were reading out loud in their ELA class.  I remember those days and how bad I was at reading out loud.  I was naturally a shy person so reading out loud made my face turn red and my body get hot, like I was outside.  A girl was reading that reminded me of what it was like for me to read out loud in classes (and how I would get nervous and stumble over words, not know how to pronounce simple words, etc.) when I was in 2nd grade I used to get pulled out of class with about 3-4 other kids for private reading because I struggled so much.  We would all get together in a small quiet room and read books

Getting Crafty 2.0

Project 1: Pipe Shelf + CrossFit Art
I ran around Saturday and Sunday to get the supplies to start building my shelf.  I am waiting on the 3/4" x 8" pipe to come in because Lowe's was out.  I probably should have just done to another Lowe's instead of having it ordered.  I mean there's 2 others not to far from me.  So hopefully those will come in soon so I can get it done next week.  And I ran and picked wood on Sunday before church and had a piece of it cut, now I just have to figure out what to do with the rest of it. 

Slam ball splatter art

I went over to Rockhill Customs in Eastover on Tuesday to have my piece of sheet metal cut for my artwork that I had gotten over a year ago.  Unfortunately, he wasn't there which I saw the message he sent me after I had gotten there that he wasn't going to be there.  So we scheduled for me to be there on Thursday.  He was nice enough not to charge me to cut the piece of metal I had.  He had offered to use one of his pieces of sheet metal and I could just trade him with the piece that I had but I was nervous about how thick his piece was compared to mine.  So he just cut mine instead; turned out his pieces were thicker lol

I had realized on the way home that I had asked him to cut it too small than what I had originally thought.  I had wanted an extra 1 1/2in on each side, but I gave him an extra 1 1/2in total.  Oops!  O well.  I still have some extra room on both sides of the artwork so it all good.
I'm typically not an artwork type person but a friend, Kent Youngstrom, from back home does fitness artwork using barbells, boxes, slamballs and bodies.  He's asked me to come help him do one and I hope to be able to someday.  I just seem to be unavailable each time he asks me..sadness.   So part 1 of the project is done!
Project 2: Wood Burning/Torching
So I have been wanting to spruce up my patriotic wall, which is in my living room.  The shelf sits behind my couch with my Great Grandpa's American flag that layed on his cascat at his funeral.  My great grandpa was in the Army and so was my Grandpa (on my dad's side).  My Mom's side, my grandpa was in the Navy.  And I also had taken a flower vase and started filling uit up with bullet shell casings, which I need to finish filling it up.   The guy from 16.4 had brought me flowers when we first started dating and I knew I had a flower vase but couldn't figure out where in the world it was, so I used my food processer instead (yes I know...lazy and tacky).  Well, the vase I was looking for was filled with bullet casings. 

Some work on my tribute wall.  Will most likely remove the TY beanies
and put the pictures somewhere else (they're super old anyway)

But thanks to Hobby Lobby for 50% off wall decore I was able to get a framed "I Pledge Allegiance" with One Nation Under God standing out in gold and the rest is in black. I picked up a couple other things while I was there too.  But I'm going to take a couple pallet pieces and attach them together and then burn/torch John 15:13 into it to go underneath the shelf

"Greater love has no one than this:

to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

Project 3:  Travel Map
I had thought of this project before and how cool I thought it was but I decided against it because of the fact that I haven't been to that many places.  Unfortunately, the bank doesn't allow me to go to too many places.  But I try and save as much money as I can and after my Colorado trip this past April I want to try and do it every year for my birthday.  I want to attach a map to some wood, I can't decide whether I want a world map or just a U.S. map (I want to travel outside the US also), and put pins in all the places I want to go and all the places I have been.  But I feel like after doing that I'd have too much wood in my apartment or at least in close proximity to each other.  I'm sure I'll do it anyway and just figure out where I can put it.  I'd decide that before I actually make it.  Crazy thought right. 
I just have to figure out where I want it and I also need to figure out a way to get my weightlifting medals hung up.

https://www.rockhillcustoms.com/

http://experience.kentyoungstrom.com/crossfit-and-canvas/

Beach Trip

About 30min after arriving this is where I was found

My mom had our condo down in Myrtle Beach for the past couple days and I've been wanting to get out of town and relax from all the stress going through my head with work and just life in general so I asked if I could join her down at the beach.  She said that would be fine.  She went down Friday and I didn't end up arriving until Saturday afternoon.  I wanted to get my workout in first, and working out at home would save me some money of dropping into a gym down at the beach.  My mom had to go to a Wyndham presentation on Saturday morning that gave us a $50 certificate to eat at T-Bonz and then 2 free tickets to The Carolina Opry.
Priority one when I got the beach was to get some sun. I was ready when I got there because I worse my bathing in the car.  So I unloaded what little I had packed, which I was proud of myself for packing so little, and headed down to the pool since it was getting late and I didn't want to take another shower and get all sandy.  So out by the pool I went with mom in tow.  I told my mom before I got down there that I was going to be wearing one of my other bathing suits (Savage Swim), which let my ass hang out of, and that she was just going to have to put up with it.  I use my regular bikinis around my niece and nephew.  But I have to get over what my mom thinks about some of the things I wear, especially my bathing suits.
We stayed at the pool or about two hours and then headed up to get ready for dinner.  I think one of my favorite things to eat at a restaurant that has seafood is crab cakes.  That's what I got at T-Bonz, with some slaw and a salad.  We weren't that far from The Carolina Opry, which we didn't think we would be that close, so we dropped the food back off at the condo and then headed to Tanger Outlets because they head a Lululemon outlet.  You don't even want to know my Lulu addiction.  But everything at the outlet is at markdown prices.  I went just to glance and then we headed out to the show.
The Carolina Opry was good.  It was swinging, dancing, and comedy.  The sang some classics and some current songs, well somewhat recent artist songs (Katy Perry).  The comedy was good and there was one joke that I loved that I can't remember anymore.  I think part of my favorite was the clogging group called All That that was one America's Got Talent.  I honestly have never watched that show, but I do like clogging.  We went home and I got started back into my ROMWOD routine since I missed Thursday and Friday.
Saturday morning we woke up and hit the beach for about an hour and then headed over to Lulu when they opened so it wouldn't be too busy.  I only got a couple things and then mom got me two others.  So I ended up with a pair of shorts, two tanks, two pairs of socks, and a sweatshirt.  I had honestly planned to leave around 12 that afternoon so I could get home and get some things taken care of before work the next day (food, cleaning, and laundry).  But I decided to take a break from my hectic life of how my life is so scheduled and planned that I stayed until 2pm and just focused on getting laundry done because a girl needs clothes to work in.  The rest can be done later this week.

Dressed up for girls night out, dinner and show

Adventure Awaits Update
So earlier this week I thought I had everything figured out and where I was going to go for my trip with my voucher.  And I decided I was going to definitely need some hiking shoes, which I can't decided between Merrells or Salomons.  And I need a hiking backpack as well.  O and a tent
I was set on AZ and going the Grand Canyon and hiking to Havasu Falls (a 10mi hike), but then I decided to throw Seattle back in the mix.  Big decisions to make.
1. AZ - Grand Canyon, Havasu Falls
2. WA - Seattle, and 16.4 (hehe)

*I really got to figure out something to call him besides 16.4...hmmmmm

~God Bless

"Training strength and endurance mentally, physically, and spiritually."

Barbella Box & Hypertrophy 2

As I sit here on the couch I looking back on the week of new programming from First Attempt Lifting and how I'm enjoying it, and I'm thankful for April's Barbella box and looking forward to the week ahead and figure out how to save money for next years birthday trip and planning for that.

~Barbella Box~

So if you're not aware, there is a company called Barbella Box were you pay a monthly/annual fee (your choice) and they send you fitness goodies that are priced well over what you pay for the box.  
Sorry gents, this is for the ladies only.  So for the guys it's more like Gainz Box or for those that don't workout it's like Dollar Shave Club box.

The first month I ordered was Christmas, a gift to myself, and came with Vull Sport mesh leggings which I love and of course some items that I won't use.  Each box usually is designed around a specific athlete. 
April's box was designed around Olympic weightlifter Mattie Rogers which was part of the reason why I decided to get it, I'm an oly lifter, and since April was my birthday I had to treat myself then too.  This month's box came with:

Barbella box duffle bag
Nike Weightlifting t-shirt
Eleiko pulling straps
ROMWOD 1 month subscription(a mobility online program to help improve flexibility)
$25 Trifecta gift card (a meal prep company)
RP discount code (nutrition/meal plans)
RP Strength Woman E-book
RP socks
Xendurance Extreme Endurance 1 week pack
2Pood discount(clothing and workout accessories company)

Unfortunately there was a lot of drama going on around this month's box that was completely explained by the company, but the bitching was unbelievable!  A couple days before the boxes were suppose to ship out all people  Barbella emailed everyone that was suppose to be getting and April box to let us know that because of an unfortunate event, boxes would be shipped out late.  The warehouse where out Mattie bags were being held caught on fire!  They luckily they had a back up bag but it would obviously take a couple days to get the boxes filled out sent out.  So many people started complaining that how they would just be getting there boxes when it was time for May's box to process.  I have never heard so many people complain about getting a box late because a business had burned!  Where is the understanding for a company that provides all these goodies to us that some of it we basically get for free.  People were complaining about when they were shipped out.  Yes, Barbella delivers the boxes to a shipping warehouse but Barbella however does not control when they leave the shipping warehouse and depending on where you are located depends on how long it takes the box to get to you.

I for one am perfectly happy with my box no matter when it arrived but I knew it was coming and I couldn't be more excited about all the goodies that were in it.
Thank you Barbella for the awesome birthday present and the oly lifting goodies.  Because of you I'm finally able to Trifecta and in the process I acquired 5 more $25 gift cards from people who were not going to use theirs, so now I have a total of $150 and am waiting for one more in the mail.  Who wouldn't love that!  That's a lot of food I don't have to pay for.
ROMWOD was another part of the box I was looking forward to.  I have been wanting to try them for awhile, but honestly just didn't want to pay for it.  There's not a lot of room in my apartment to really do some of the stretches.  But Barbella Box gave us 1 month free and I've always wanted to work on my flexibility every night and this would be my way of holding myself accountable.  There is a video posted for each day of the week and it's my way to wind down at night right before going to bed.  Who wouldn't want to be fully relaxed before they fall asleep at night.  And I'm hoping it will help me with this crazy week of workouts.  So here is to my month of ROMWOD and one of my buddies at the gym said that I could use his subscription to ROMWOD after my month was over in exchange for watching his dog when he needs it.  I'll take it!
If your interested in the boxes or even individual items out of a months box visit
http://www.barbellabox.com/

Now what would be even better is for June or July to have a Savage Swim bikini or a discount for them in it!!!


Hypertrophy Month 2
So as you know I had a ton of goblet squats, heavy squats, RDLs (Romanian deadlifts), single leg glute bridges and a lot of hypertrophy on upper body as well but I won't get into that last hypertrophy cycle .  My coach and I had a little talk before the end of my programming last week and I told him I might go insane if he gave me more goblet squats to do, 10 weeks of those suckers.  His response was asking why it wasn't my goal to be one of those instagram girls with a big butt.  haha
So this month he definitely gave me what I asked for...a squat challenge for me.  Plenty of oly complexes, one of those complex days making it an EMOM (every minute on the minute) which I love, upper body hypertrophy, pause back squat, and front squats.
My quads and inner thighs have been sore since Tuesday but squats felt better than they did on Tuesday and I still have one more day left to do of them, for this week anyway.  My squat programming for this month goes a little like this...

Tues/Thurs/Sat:
Back Squat  w/ 2sec pause every other squat
3x10 @ 70%
Front Squat
3x8 @ 70% (directly after front squats)

And as much as some people would look at this and want to turn up there nose I look at it and smile at the challenge it will bring and knowing the results that it will bring.  I have this weird thing about what people see as torture in a workout and I smile at it because of the challenge.  I love challenging myself in that way, pushing my body further than what I think it could go.

This morning (Friday) is find a 3RM on snatches and cleans.  I was hoping to hit my 90% on each of my lifts but my body is just tired this week from the new programming.  I'll have to slow it down next week and really focus on my set up before each lift and make sure my back is staying tight through the entire lift and my pull is staying close.  But I could definitely tell how tired my back was this morning from all the work this week (3x fail of push press, push ups, bent over row, and abs).  I wasn't able to get to abs at the gym today so I will do them later.
If you are looking for programming, whether it be for Olympic lifting, CrossFit, shows, or even nutrition go to...
https://www.1stattemptlifting.com/


Getting Crafty
So I've been wanting to add some decorations-ish to my apartment for awhile just to help me get organized and to spice things up a bit.  I finally went and bought a cube organizer to go under my small bar of my kitchen counter to help get some things not so stacked up around there, like notebooks.  I had Walker all weekend so I decided it was a better idea to wait and put it together after he was gone, with the small screws and me using power tools and all.  Yes, I own a power tool.  A drill to be exact and a little drill bit kit.  There's no point in buying a drill if your not going to buy extra bits to go with it.  My buddy James that helped me hang my tv was surprised I even had a drill, drill bits, a level, measuring tape.  I mean, I might be a female but I'm not completely oblivious to power tools.  It almost makes me feel like I'm back in the day when all women did was take care of the kids, cook and clean when they have a surprised look on their face when they find out I own these things and can use them.  O and I can change my own oil too! haha
So anyway, back to my organizer.  I got a gray colored one and 3 fabric cubes to go inside.  Partly to stick the dog toys and sheets I have gotten in there so they're not just finding some place around my apartment to sit.  So here came the daunting task of putting this thing together all by myself and I was going to do that too.  I started taking everything out of the box and organizing it. 
Little secret...doing stuff like this scares me.  Doing it by myself anyway.  I hate messing things up and don't want to screw something up really bad.  I've always wanted to be crafty when it comes to building things because I want to build my own entertainment center to go underneath my TV.  Currently a said situation because right now my dvd, Xbox and movies are sitting on bartstools and in 5 different Lululemon bags.
So I got my drill and just followed the directions.  It took me about 30-40min to completely put it together with all the screws, pegs, and whole covers.

So my next project is going to be building a shelf in my bathroom for some artwork that I have with industrial piping.  I found it on pinterest, yes it's a pinterest project.  But it involves industrial piping and reclaimed wood.  It looked pretty neat to me and the only thing I would need after that is sheet metal and some magnets.  And boom.  So the goal is to get this done by the end of the month! This one I'm really excited to do.  Just have to find the wall studs and probably get some dry wall screws just in case. But I'm looking forward to this project and the day I start my entertainment center which probably won't be until fall.

What the bathroom project will look like but
I'll only have 1 shelf.

~God Bless

"Training strength and endurance mentally, physically, and spiritually."

Reunions + PRs

There has been so much stuff going on this week. A good sale at target to help me get a little more organized...I bought a cube organizer.  I'm going to put some of my notebooks on there and some of the dog toys I had bought for Robby in there so he has them next time he stays over.  And I'll probably get some dog treats to keep in there as well.  And who knows what else I'll decide to throw in there to try and clean this place up a little bit. But I have some other apt projects I want to work on as well.

Reunion
So many students may have that one teacher that makes a big imprint in their life.  For me, it was my 3rd grade teacher.  I was the small little girl that was still in gymnastics at the time and he was big into working out back then.  He still does but not as much.  I knew he worked for CMS school system so I decided to look him up one day and found that he was a principal at a local middle school back home. Not creepy at all I promise.
He, Mr. Drye, showed up to my father's funeral when I was only 11 years old.  Guess I had an impact on that man as well for someone who hadn't been his student for 2 years and he's showing up at the service the day of my dad's funeral to give me a hug and see if I was going to be okay.  For some reason, not sure what, they actually allowed him to come to the back to see me before they started the service in the home.  On such a gloomy day I had a huge smile on my face when I saw him.
So once I found out that he was a teacher for CMS I decided to contact him.  And sure enough he still remembers me.  He said it would be great to see me, so since I work for the school system out here and we are on a different schedule than CMS I decided to see if I had any days off that would coordinate with his working schedule so that I could drop in on him.   There was only one day left in my school year for that, but it would have to be a quick overnight trip.
When I arrived, the office staff was a little confused because they didn't know I was coming.  He had told me he would only be there until 10 so I had to make sure I got there before then.  I had plenty of time.   We gave each other a hug when we first saw each other and then sat and talked for a bit.  He definitely looks older.  I always remember that young Mr. Drye that taught me and for some odd reason didn't expect him to look any older.  After that he gave me a tour of the school and said there wouldn't be much going on because they kids were getting ready for end of year testing.  He introduced me to some of the school staff and teachers, and even got to say hey to one classroom of kids.  They actually had autistic kids in the cafeteria having breakfast.  They eat after the other students because it's nice and calm and not as loud for them.  Why is that significant?  Well if you know what I do, then you understand why.  All the grades are separated so the kids don't intermingle much.  Sad that some of the parents are scared these days for 6th graders to get mixed in with 8th graders.  We hugged and said goodbye after the tour, and my stupid self forgot to get a picture of us together.  But I will visit again and get a picture next time.  
I headed back not too long after that so I could get my workout in before a dog boarding drop off.


Pups

Walker being social and not a momma's boy
for about a minute

So some of you may know, and a lot of you may not.  I do dog sitting on the side during the school year and then make it my full time gig during the summer.  Which I'm hoping it picks up soon!  So far this week I've had Robby, a 10 month old golden retriever (who you saw pictures of in the last blog), and currently I have Walker, a pit mix.  Robby is just a ball full of energy and Walker is a huge momma's boy.

Walker arrived on Friday afternoon and was already sitting in my lap before the owners even left.  I took Walker to the dog park later on so he could get some exercise and he took off from me for about one minute and then came right back and stayed by my side. He would take off away from me on occasion but for the most part stayed by me.  We'll head back out there tomorrow (Sunday) because we've been inside most of the day today.  We actually took a nap as well because I was exhausted from going out for Cinco de Mayo.  

No, I didn't have tacos for Cinco de Mayo.  Shocker.  I went to Southern Pines with Krystal to Sly Fox.  I definitely don't spend enough time down there.  I ate wabbit (bugs bunny reference) instead.  How often do you get to try rabbit anyway?  We went to the Jefferson for about 30min after dinner to see one of her friends.  I was honestly over it after dinner.  The crowds were crazy because of the holiday.

Saturday afternoon nap time

So we, Walker and I, headed out for a walk this morning before I headed off to church and then we went to the dog park after.  I can tell you one good thing about the dog boarding/sitting is that it is forcing me to relax from my typical hectic Sunday of meal prepping and helping me to just enjoy the day.  There were so many dogs at the dog park on Sunday!  But just like Friday, Walker basically stayed by me the entire time.  He did climb under my legs a bit but I took a book to read and found a bench out in the sun and just relaxed while he played under me and on occasion walked under me and made himself a leg rest.  We were there for about an hour and then headed back to the apartment.

Walker after coming back from the dog park

PRs
So, if you read my last blog you know that I have been on a cut for the past 5 weeks.  Four weeks on the base and this passed week on my first official cut phase.  Which has had me a little irritated beacuse of my lack of carbs later in the day.  But this week starts new programming so no carbs after lunch shouldn't be an issue..YAY!
There is always that concern that while on this cut I will start losing strength.  And so far that isn't true which is such a relief.  
While on my deload this week my body building work has been 2x10 instead of that 3x20 that I told you about.  So usually when deload week rolls around I try to hit as much weight as possible.  I was able to do 32kg/70# goblet squats, which I've never even thought about attempting before.  And what makes me even more excited is my strict press.  
I was able to hit 41kg/90# for 10RM!  This has me super excited and really curious at the same time.  Why? Because it makes me wonder what my 1RM is now.  I probably could have gone for 42kg on my strict press.  But a 2kg PR on strict press is a okay with me.  Just the fact that that number is getting higher makes me happy.  I have a strong upper body from doing gymnastics when I was younger but when it comes to strict press I've always felt like I've been stuck at the same weight for a long time.  Although this hypertrophy programming can be a pain sometimes, it really does work.  I'm looking forward to the next 5 weeks and the results coming from it.
Next meets:
1) Appalachian Open (Asheville, NC) - July 15th
2) Barbells & Brews (Charlotte, NC) - Sept. 30th


So I think I've narrowed down my choices for the place I'm going to use my United flying voucher on:
1) Grand Canyon, AZ 
I think I was to swim/paddleboard in the river around the Grand Canyon and then go visit from the top.  Bucket List!!
2) New Orleans, LA

Updated prayer board

~God Bless

"Training strength and endurance mentally, physically, and spiritually."

Swole & Somewhat Flexy + Cutting Yikes

As I sit here in bed with my pup Robby, who I am dog sitting, laying right beside my bed I'm relieved that it is officially deload week of my 5 week hypertrophy cycle (I'm on week 5 people).

Robby all tuckered out from the dog park.

I have seen squats upon squats, heavy as hell squats that mentally screwed me up since I have a new 1RM on my back squat, and light with my oly lifts all month long.  Every other day is either focused on upper body or heavy on legs.  I think I'm more over the accessor work than the actual squats.

My heavy days of squatting.  Week 4

The only thing frustrating about light oly lifts is I know that when I finally get back into hitting 85-90% of my 1RM on snatch and C&J it's going to feel heavy as hell and I'm going to wonder how in the world I ever hit those numbers in the first place.
I think that's the one thing you have to really learn is to trust your coach, but sometimes I wonder what the hell he's thinking.  The man has a mind of his own, and is definitely not afraid to speak what's on his mind or his view on how things should be done.  I know he gets annoyed with me sometimes haha but I'm going to ask questions.

So last month he decided to program goblet squats and at first I was semi excited because I was pumped about the challenge goblet squats pose in keeping your chest up, not letting your hips rise first and the core tight,  but after 10 weeks of those suckers and this month it being 3x20, I'm hoping that this week is the last week. 

RDLs...63kg

This month is focused on hypertrophy so my legs can get stronger and hopefully finally hit some PRs on my C&J.  The man has me doing 3x20 on all exercises minus snatches, cleans, power jerks, and front or back squats.  This past weekend was my last week of trying to do all of them as heavy as possible for 20 reps.  After I finished my back squats on Saturday (week 4) I had mentally checked out of the accessory work.  Granted some of that had to do with some other factors going on in my life but mostly I was just over the 3x20.  I had honestly thought about skipping my last set of RDLs and calling it a day, but it was only one more set of 3.  I could suck it up for one more, but I had also thought about skipping the movement all together.  But I didn't because I'm to damn stubborn.
All other days of the week I have to head to work not getting to complete at least 1 of the movements that's programmed and have to try and make it up in combo with my other programmed stuff or just head back after work.  I'm not going to lie, there was one day that I wasn't able to finish all my bench and didn't even get to rows before having to get ready for work and I honestly said screw it that day and just went home after work and didn't even make it up later.  Part of me felt bad but the rest of me was completely exhausted and overwhelmed dealing with other things.  And we have to listen to our bodies every once in awhile right.  I hadn't been getting much sleep that week.






Cutting
So comes the fun part.  The goal is to get down to 53kg/116# and I currently sit around 57kg/125-130# depending on who's scale you decide to step on.  The goal of this cut to 53kg from the 57kg is to try and qualify for the American Open (weightlifting) this year.  It would be easier for me to hit the qualifying total of a 53kg lifter as opposed to a 58kg lifter.
So when I first got my cut I looked at all the different phases - base, cut 1, cut 2...maintenance.  The base had a lot of  fats in it.  According to coach, it was the easiest way to get in the calories I would need.  My protein was cut back as well as my carbs.  My first thought....why in the world was my protein cut back so much.  I wouldn't be worried about the carbs until later.  The calories for the cut had to come from somewhere was his response to my question about the protein.  I'm practically his guinea pig for his nutrition plan he is trying out.  Why? O yeah...it was free.  So we'll see how it goes. 
The goal:  cut weight, get stronger and make it to AO.
I spent a month of the base for the cut and this week I officially started Cut 1.  Of all weeks to start cut 1, a deload week, where volume and weight are all nice and light.  I'm only on day 3 and I'm not a happy individual.  I get absolutely NO carbs after lunch, my 4th "meal" of the day, because my protein shake and workout carbs are considered a meal as well.  So no more nightly snack of my eggs with banana and peanut butter.  Maybe it's the thought of me missing my carbs that makes it worse, but I'm ready to get my programming for next month so that I can start having carbs all day again!!




But on a completely different note.  I need to start figuring out where I'm going to go with my $400 voucher from United....
There is always the other option for where I had planned for my birthday, New Orleans.  But here's a list of thoughts
1. New Orleans
2. Arizona
3. Wyoming
4. Seattle
hmmm decisions decisions

~God Bless

"Training strength and endurance mentally, physically, and spiritually."