1 Corinthians 13: 3 - 8
" If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
But we touched on a little different. We heard about what you can learn from and about loss. The more you love someone and become close to them, care, the harder it is to lose that person. My pastor referenced 2 Samuel 12:15 - 24 and I'll touch on some of the points that we learned.
I. We all go through loss
One thing you have to realize during your loss is that you are not the only person who has had a loss. Yours could be a family member while someone else could have lost a very close friend. You also have to remember that it can happen at any age, even children before they know a family member. I have lost my Uncle and my Grandfather on my Mom's side and I don't remember either one of them because I was just a baby. I lost my father at age 11 and as I've gotten older I realize how it has effected me. Fathers teach, well some, their daughters as they grow up how they should be treated by a guy they are dating. Living without a father and not seeing those traits can be difficult. I know how I should be treated as a woman by a man, and vice verse, but maybe if my father was still around I wouldn't put up with so much crap. I believe that when you meet the right person you will be spoiled by the. But that's beside the point.
One thing you have to realize during your loss is that you are not the only person who has had a loss. Yours could be a family member while someone else could have lost a very close friend. You also have to remember that it can happen at any age, even children before they know a family member. I have lost my Uncle and my Grandfather on my Mom's side and I don't remember either one of them because I was just a baby. I lost my father at age 11 and as I've gotten older I realize how it has effected me. Fathers teach, well some, their daughters as they grow up how they should be treated by a guy they are dating. Living without a father and not seeing those traits can be difficult. I know how I should be treated as a woman by a man, and vice verse, but maybe if my father was still around I wouldn't put up with so much crap. I believe that when you meet the right person you will be spoiled by the. But that's beside the point.
So what can we learn from loss?
II. We each grieve differently.
I remember when my father died that I handled it very differently from my brother and some other family members. I had been at gymnastics all day and when we arrived at the hospital and were told the news. I cried very little. I cried a little bit and then would stop and that pattern of emotion just continued. I mostly stayed tough throughout the whole thing and kept mostly to myself when we went for group counseling once a week. I didn't have much to say, it is what it is. I had to stay strong for my family. I remember the night we told my brother, which was the same day as my mother and I found out, and me telling him it would be okay. He just cried back to me that it wouldn't. I remember how hard he was crying when he said this back to me, my mom crunched down trying to comfort him, and my dry eyes and complete composer when I told him this. I'm an introvert so I keep to myself a lot about things and this was one of them. But no matter what we loss (job, family member, pet) we all handle and deal with that grief differently. So whether you are dealing with grief yourself or someone who is going through it, just know that they may handle it differently than you do.
III. You Can Heal
As we all deal with loss differently, sometimes those that are silent may need the most help. We lose loved ones and we have mental "scars" and after awhile those start to heal. God said not to grieve like other nations because when they grieved they would cut themselves and leave physical scars. We are not to have physical scars of our losses. People cut to show their internal pain and this is a permanent scar, permanent reminder.
God states in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who isin you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies"
1 Corinthians 3: 16-17 says, "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple, and that God's Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person; for God's temple is sacred, and you together are that temple."
Our bodies are something that we should cherish and not damage. Some people may not leave physical scars like cutting but they cope in other ways such as food. Let's put it in a different perspective...if you owned a beautiful house that you custom designed, or let go with something more practical, your smartphone or a new pair of shoes. If the screen got cracked or you scuffed your shoes it's not as beautiful as it was before. You'd be pretty upset. You want to get your phone fixed or even clean or shoes. You can to take care of them because it means something to you, as should your body. We are not to carry around the scares of our losses, physically or mentally. They are just a constant reminder of your losses and your past. We are to look to the future; not our past. Our past can only hold us back and destroy our future just like the story of Lot and his wife in Genesis 19:1-29.
IV. You have to take responsibility of your life to move forward.
You have to remember that as painful as life may seem, you have a responsibility to yourself and others. No one can help you move on from that loss but yourself. Friends and family can be there to try and help but you never move on until you are truly ready to. You have to become clean all over again. You have to wash things off from the past, things that have never been settled/left unanswered. You have to change your clothes (you attitude). If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, that's all you will see in your life. You will never see the positive things, even the small ones. If you don't change your attitude nothing is going to change for you, things will not get better. You also have to seek God, anoint yourself, through the entire situation. Look to him for guidance, some days may be better than others, but it is better than all days being bad. You also have to eat well. Take care of yourself physical, through food and exercise. Remember your body is a temple of God, and that's important. It is through your physical health that you are able to do so many things! Our bodies should to precious to us. Why cause diseases or any unhealthy condition yourself?
V. Be prepared for trigger events
There are always going to be things/triggers that are going to remind you of your loss and remind you of the good memories of who or what you have lost. But those triggers can be put there for a reason. They can
surprise you at anytime or can be expected, like certain events or dates. But those triggers become blessings in your life.
VI. Focus outward
Physical scars are constant reminders, making them an inward focus of what you've been through, and not letting you move forward. But you need to focus outward. Focus on the fact that there are others that are grieving as well. You make be able to be the person that helps them through their grief. Focusing outward can also help you to forget your own grief. Even if your grief isn't the same as the person you are helping.
It is through our stories of grief that we can help others. Our experiences of grief can become a resource to glorify God and help someone else know what we have learned. Let our grief be a lesson to others.
VII. God has a new dream for your life
When God takes something away from you, as long as you praise God through good and bad, he will provide for you again. Sometime better than before, than you could imagine. Know that God takes things away from you, no matter what or who it is, he has a different and bigger dream for you. We are always too clouded by the current situation to see it at the time. That we feel as if things will never get better, asking why God is and has put us through this. He has a bigger plan for you my friend!
I remember when my father died that I handled it very differently from my brother and some other family members. I had been at gymnastics all day and when we arrived at the hospital and were told the news. I cried very little. I cried a little bit and then would stop and that pattern of emotion just continued. I mostly stayed tough throughout the whole thing and kept mostly to myself when we went for group counseling once a week. I didn't have much to say, it is what it is. I had to stay strong for my family. I remember the night we told my brother, which was the same day as my mother and I found out, and me telling him it would be okay. He just cried back to me that it wouldn't. I remember how hard he was crying when he said this back to me, my mom crunched down trying to comfort him, and my dry eyes and complete composer when I told him this. I'm an introvert so I keep to myself a lot about things and this was one of them. But no matter what we loss (job, family member, pet) we all handle and deal with that grief differently. So whether you are dealing with grief yourself or someone who is going through it, just know that they may handle it differently than you do.III. You Can Heal
As we all deal with loss differently, sometimes those that are silent may need the most help. We lose loved ones and we have mental "scars" and after awhile those start to heal. God said not to grieve like other nations because when they grieved they would cut themselves and leave physical scars. We are not to have physical scars of our losses. People cut to show their internal pain and this is a permanent scar, permanent reminder.
God states in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who isin you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies"
1 Corinthians 3: 16-17 says, "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple, and that God's Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person; for God's temple is sacred, and you together are that temple."
Our bodies are something that we should cherish and not damage. Some people may not leave physical scars like cutting but they cope in other ways such as food. Let's put it in a different perspective...if you owned a beautiful house that you custom designed, or let go with something more practical, your smartphone or a new pair of shoes. If the screen got cracked or you scuffed your shoes it's not as beautiful as it was before. You'd be pretty upset. You want to get your phone fixed or even clean or shoes. You can to take care of them because it means something to you, as should your body. We are not to carry around the scares of our losses, physically or mentally. They are just a constant reminder of your losses and your past. We are to look to the future; not our past. Our past can only hold us back and destroy our future just like the story of Lot and his wife in Genesis 19:1-29.
IV. You have to take responsibility of your life to move forward.
You have to remember that as painful as life may seem, you have a responsibility to yourself and others. No one can help you move on from that loss but yourself. Friends and family can be there to try and help but you never move on until you are truly ready to. You have to become clean all over again. You have to wash things off from the past, things that have never been settled/left unanswered. You have to change your clothes (you attitude). If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, that's all you will see in your life. You will never see the positive things, even the small ones. If you don't change your attitude nothing is going to change for you, things will not get better. You also have to seek God, anoint yourself, through the entire situation. Look to him for guidance, some days may be better than others, but it is better than all days being bad. You also have to eat well. Take care of yourself physical, through food and exercise. Remember your body is a temple of God, and that's important. It is through your physical health that you are able to do so many things! Our bodies should to precious to us. Why cause diseases or any unhealthy condition yourself?
V. Be prepared for trigger events
There are always going to be things/triggers that are going to remind you of your loss and remind you of the good memories of who or what you have lost. But those triggers can be put there for a reason. They can
 |
| Always seeing Harley's is a trigger for me because that's what my Dad loved. |
VI. Focus outward
Physical scars are constant reminders, making them an inward focus of what you've been through, and not letting you move forward. But you need to focus outward. Focus on the fact that there are others that are grieving as well. You make be able to be the person that helps them through their grief. Focusing outward can also help you to forget your own grief. Even if your grief isn't the same as the person you are helping.
"who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
2 Corinthians 1:4
VII. God has a new dream for your life
When God takes something away from you, as long as you praise God through good and bad, he will provide for you again. Sometime better than before, than you could imagine. Know that God takes things away from you, no matter what or who it is, he has a different and bigger dream for you. We are always too clouded by the current situation to see it at the time. That we feel as if things will never get better, asking why God is and has put us through this. He has a bigger plan for you my friend!
~God Bless
"Training strength and endurance mentally, physically, and spiritually."
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