This week has been that week for me. Granted the only thing that sucks is that my friend left for work and won't be back for a couple months. But it's knowing that he's coming back that keeps me happy.
So most of my excitement has come from work this week. There is one week in spring where the entire school does something called STEM/STEAM week. This years theme has something to do with flying, airplanes and helicopters.
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| UH-60 Black Hawk (sorry the soccer post is in the way) |
UH-60 Black Hawk Helicopter
I'm not sure who was more excited about this. The kids or the adults. I'm glad I'm not the only teacher who said they were excited about this. I know I've probably seen one of the Black Hawks flying around post but it can be something you take for granted sometimes and also had never actually seen one up close. One of the teachers was awesome and arranged with one of the parents to have a Black Hawk land at the school for the kids to see. Well, I can be a big kid too! She was even able to arrange for us to be able to climb up into the helicopter! |
| Hanging out in the pilot's seat |
I was with a SPED student that day so we stayed outside with the sixth graders, the OT and PT were also with the teacher and I, and we were able to get him up into the helicopter and strap him in. We even got him to stand up and lean out of it. It's so exciting to see him do things like this. After we went back inside he went with the OT and PT and did some work. His teacher gave me permission to go back outside to the helicopter. I wasn't able to get in when I went outside with the kid I was working with but going back outside and being able to talk to some of the guys and get into to the helicopter, strap myself in and hang outside of it. I was also able climb into the pilot seat. I actually asked if it was okay that I did. I told them I really just wanted to take a ride in it and they said, "Well, you can start it up if you want." You should have seen my face when they said that. My response, "Seriously!"
Unfortunately, they couldn't let me but just the whole experience in itself was pretty cool.
*Adding that to the bucket list
Dogwood Festival
Twice a year this town does and event called The Dogwood Festival. Usually two big bands come out and play and this year Parmalee, the country band, was coming. I had planned on going since I learned that they were going to be there. It had been a busy week and it was going to be a much needed relaxing break from all the craziness of the week. My girlfriend Krystal came with me. She's crazy with work as well, so it's a much needed break for both of us and a fun girls night out.
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| Waiting for the concert to start. |
We got there early so that we could find a place to sit, needless to say it was already packed. But we were able to find a place to sit. There was a band before Parmalee called Landco. They were okay. They played right up until 9pm which was when Parmalee was suppose to start. And with the long annoying announcements in between Landco and Parmalee, Parmalee didn't start until about 930/945. The definitely need to do a better job of keeping to that schedule. They played some of their new songs and did covers of others, that they shouldn't have done covers of. But my favorites of the night were "Roots," "Carolina" and "Already Callin You Mine." Krystal and I headed home right at the end of the concert cause they started playing right at our bedtime anyway. haha yes I know I got to bed super early for some people my age and even some people older than me. And I did cry a little during some of the songs and although the concert was good I wish I could have said it was awesome because unfortunately my mind was somewhere else almost the entire time.
I had planned on having a very busy weekend, but got a last minute dog sitting call so I took that. This dog is one of my regulars and I didn't want him to be in the kennel again because of his dad working so I'm taking care of him until Tuesday.
Just some things on my mind....
So all of you have read about my trip to Colorado for my birthday. I had invited a friend to come with me. She moved, her husband is in the Army, a couple months back and I thought this would be a fun way to get to see each other again. I told her about the dates well in advance, like February just so she could plan for it if she would be able to come. I would check in with her every once in awhile just to make sure she could still come and everything was good to go. About a week before she messaged me asking me for the address to the place we would be staying and I haven't heard from her since then. I doesn't really bother me that she didn't show up on the trip because it's not the first time for me that someone has said they were going to come and then not show up or even bother telling me they weren't going to show up. That's the part that gets me. How are you going to ask me for an address to the place and then not even bother to tell me you can't make it or just don't want to come. That's just slam damn rude and disrespectful. I've tried to get ahold of her since then and she doesn't answer anything, text messages or messages/posts on facebook. And she's clearly on there every day. I guess I'm that friend she just texts when she needs a confidence boost in herself.
O and the guy from 16.4 that said he wanted to start over has officially left for work and I decided to write him a letter about everything going on in my head with me and him since we both had feelings for each other even though he was leaving soon for work. I was nervous because I knew it could change things. But I was just remember that meme that says if you miss someone, tell him; thinking about someone, call them; like someone tell them. So that's what I did. You never know what might happen unless you take that chance right?
So he finally read my letter that I wrote him and of course he isn't going to date me because of work the next 2 years, always being gone. Well what's going through my head again is how am I still not good enough? Feelings are there and he knows what I'm willing to do to make things work. I feel like an idiot for putting myself out there with him again. I'm an amazing woman he said and it's funny because even after the 2 years is over of all his leaving for work he's going to keep doing it and I have a feeling it will be the same reason again. And I told him I would never hold him back from what he wants to do in his work. He loves it and no one should take that away from him, and I never will. But I'm just confused on why ask to start over if you knew you didn't want to date? What damn sense does that make? I'm so confused as to what he wants from me?
There's just something about him that makes him different. And some of this is stuff that I haven't told him but he'll find out because he reads all these blogs (if/when). And I started writing again because of him and part of me has thought about stopping for the same reason. He knows a lot about me and my work and how much I love it. I don't share the detailed stories of work with to anyone but him. I've very protective of who I tell those stories to. He's seen some of my quirks. I've let him help me get ready at night and I never let any guy do these things because I'm so OCD about some stuff but for some reason I've let him get that close. I can't figure out why him but I have.
I'm sure a lot of you are going to say move on with your life. You deserve someone who is going to make you worth the time no matter the situation and how difficult it may be. But honestly I've lost that confidence. And I honestly thought that the next time I would see him he would be happy, in a relationship with someone and I'd still be here, single and just training my butt off like I currently do. And it won't surprise me one day if this is what the truth turns out to be. But for now he's on my mind and what would happen if he would just try and give it a shot no matter what crazy situation he's having to deal with in work.
And I promise to throw some of my training in here next time too.
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