Best of 2017 & More for 2018

I've been wanting to write on my blog for awhile now, but something has been stopping me.  I've been keeping my life more to myself lately and honestly it feels good.  When I stopped writing last year two things in my life happened that I just couldn't deal with very well.  I had changed someone's life forever without meaning to (not in the best way) after an amazing day and I couldn't forgive myself for it.  I've started to come to terms with it now but I still wish things wouldn't have happened. And dealing with someone leaving my life that I care about so much and not knowing what would happen from here on out was hard for me.

Yes we share our lives on social media (facebook, instagram, snapchat, twitter and other social media platforms), only two of which I am on.  I don't feel the need to have thousands of media platforms for people to follow my life on.  Granted being followed by many would be great to inspire people but the number of people isn't important to me.
So yes, I've wanted to write for awhile, but what's the point of writing on here if I wasn't going to publish it.  I have part of my life that I haven't wanted to share with someone.  If you want to know what's going on with me and my life, then pick up the damn phone, reach out to me and find out.  I mean it takes 2sec, at the minimum, to send a simple text message these days.  And now you can even voice a text messages.  So that's the other reason I decided to stop writing.  Yeah it's sweet that people I know read this, but if you can get ahold of me and you read these blogs and want to know what's going on in my life please just reach out to me.  A phone call, text message is going to mean a ton more to me than you reading this (although it does make me go aww inside haha).  So it's a mix of thinking it's sweet and irritation.

Last year I had some amazing moments in my life, from lift PRs I never thought I would hit because my progression feels slower than it should be, to traveling to Colorado.  I've wanted to go back out and explore the west more since then.  I think my favorite part was definitely going to Colorado and snowboarding.

But this year, so far, has been amazing, only 12 days in.  I've woken up every morning with a smile on my face and have my head in a certain space when it comes to love in my life.  As much I would love to fall in love, get married and have kids one day I also have to accept that this may not be God's plan for me.  And for someone who would love this to happen in my life that's sad to think about.  But as for now as much as I would love to be in love I may never have that in my life to get married.  I don't think of this as a pessimistic point of view but more of facing a reality and not getting my hopes up to become disappointed later on.  There were many influential women in the Bible that were never married and this may be the plan. Shhhhh, I thought I had met the person I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with once but turns out I was wrong.
Being around people who are dating or are married had been difficult for me because it is something that I want for my life and it has made me feel left out and lonely.  But no longer.


My goals for this year are pretty simple...

1. take better care of myself 
(self-care each day) to become more comfortable in my own skin and build my confidence (cause I have all the confidence in the gym just not so much outside of it which it sucks to admit)
2. be more social
3. travel more (one trip already booked and I can't wait)
4. become fluent in asl (practice e w/ my cousin 1x/week + classes)
5. become a better shooting (making plans with a friend to practice each month)
6.  work on decorating my apt (slowly each month)
7. 68-70kg snatch & 80kg C&J

I've also decided to make a Jack & Rose list for all the things that we said we would do together but I know won't happen
1. New Orleans, LA
2. Jackson Hole, WY (I'll attempt to ski, but will end up switching to snowboarding)
3. Northern Lights